I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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