a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
