Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
