Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
