I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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