just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Come on in and take your pants off
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