i don't like sucking hair
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
