They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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