i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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