I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
