She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
