sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How does it feel to date your dad?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize