Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
