Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
