I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
