why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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