Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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