I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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