Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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