Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party