Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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