i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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