nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?