I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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