I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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