I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
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"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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