Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
