6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
PANTIES FOUND
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
