Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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