I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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