We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
