That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
