in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
