Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
