Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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