A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
