i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
