so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
