Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
