He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
