im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
