More tranny stories later!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
