im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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