this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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