If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My ATM looks so different sober.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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