for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
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