just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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