now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
