I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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