whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
This house was built for laser tag.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
