Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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