So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
