Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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