Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
