grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
