She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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