I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
