i just google imaged poop.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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