does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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