Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
