what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
