my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
