do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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