Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
